3.5 The Flies Changed My Life

Ten years ago, I was sitting in a hired car, waiting for my escort to complete my currency exchange in Luxor, Egypt. I watched a woman covered in black exiting the side street and behind her a pile of garbage that reached the second-floor balcony. I thought her face was covered and she was possibly the wife of an Iman. But I realized she was covered in flies because she had taken both hands and scooped the flies by the handful to expose her face. I was mortified, so I asked the driver why she was coming out of the garbage. “She has no father, brother, son, or uncle.” He dismissively responded. As if it were an everyday occurrence, he had no concerns. When my escort returned to the car, we drove off. My mind was hysterical and racing. Maybe because I lived a very oblivious life or maybe, I was refusing to face the truth about what it means to be a middle-aged woman in today’s world.

That day I realized I had hit a point in my life and found that I had spent all my time and energy on my four sons, husband, mother, in-laws, and siblings. You know the kind of woman I am talking about, the one that gives all and takes nothing. Things have changed over the decades, and the girls and young women have many more options than the generation before had. For eons, our society had looked at the Middle Eastern Culture for suppressing women. The fact is all cultures in one form or another suppress women. As an example, when I was seventeen, I designed my own clothes from sketches, and I played five musical instruments. So, like all the other seniors preparing to graduate in 1983, I went to my guidance counselor and inquired about attending the Minnesota School of the Arts. He padded my shoulder and said, “You would be better off if you found a husband and got married.” After being dismissed by my advisor, I went to my mother and told her what I wanted. “How impractical!”  she responded. 

The long and short of it is I had an American friend who had lived in Egypt for 17 years. Being newly single after 25 years of marriage, I needed a minute to breathe and figure out my future. So, at 43 years old, I had taken a school bus that I was remodeling and sold it to buy a ticket to Egypt. I have a memory that I will never forget because it gave me the drive to get an education and build my personal and financial profile.